Uncomfortable Conversations


– Eve, who is the living disco ball. And Russell are really wanting
to earn money for a pet. If you guys do a good
job for yard work for me, I will- I will pay you to do my yard work. – [Eve] And- – [Woman] It is full of leaves. Do you realize the pickle
we’ve gotten ourselves into? (inaudible) Look at all those sparkles. I don’t know what to tell you. Except I’m not buying a pet. – Well I can buy it my own. – I don’t want a pet
in my house right now. I’m not, I’m not ready for that. I’m not. – When can’t I get a pet? – Maybe when Sherry and Chad move out, I’ll be better prepared for
a pet, maybe. I don’t know. – When I’m eight? – I’m not gonna put an age on it. – I thought you said I could
get a pet when I was eight. – Well you know what,
you’re six right now. So why are we so worried about it? Hmm? – You said I could get
a pet when I was eight. – That’s in two years. – That’s in two years. And in
two years you come back to me. We’ll talk about it in two years. I’m not gonna get a pet in two years, but we’ll talk about
it again in two years. – Well why can’t I? (laughing) – [Man] It’s just a
circle. It’s just a circle. (electronic music) – [Woman] I didn’t
realize the pickle we’ve gotten ourselves into. Do you realize the pickle
we’ve gotten ourselves into? – Yeah. Kind of. – Okay explain it to me. So
I know that you understand. – I’m always busy. – What choice do you have before you- right this moment that
you need to make in the next five minutes. – Dance or basketball. – That’s right. So you’ve committed to Bantam basketball, and dance, and piano lessons. And it turns out, there’s
only 24 hours in a day. If you do basketball, you’re
missing piano and music. And you’ve already missed practices. There’s not enough room
to do three big things. Does that make sense? So I’m not gonna make you
make a decision in the next five minutes, but
maybe in the next 10. So finish your oatmeal,
get some good healthy food on your brain, in your belly. And then we’ll talk. And
you tell me what you think. Cause this is a choice
that is totally 100% yours. I haven’t been into this
drama in a long time, which is the over scheduling of kids. When Sherry was in elementary school, she had signed up for
softball and it was this competition team, it was club team. And it was all over Utah. It was over-nighters. It was so involved. And this fall we haven’t
done anything like that. We slowly got out of it. We told our kids no more competition. None of that. And so that helped.
Cause it just didn’t work for our family. There’s too many of us. However, this fall Chad
didn’t do football. Sherry was driving herself
to her own volleyball games. So I just figured Julie was okay to say yes to whatever she
wanted. I wasn’t keeping track of what she was saying yes to. Your coach said that he’s
gonna come pick you up in like 15 minutes. So we need to let your
coach know that you’re gonna miss basketball, or we need
to let your dance teacher know that you’re gonna miss dance. You remind me so much of me. I literally would say yes
to everything if I could. Cause I want to do so much. You’re always wanting to learn
and be active aren’t you? And be out with friends. And there’s gonna be so
many more opportunities come up to do even more fun things. I promise, your life is
not gonna be boring at all. Your life’s always gonna be
fun and exciting and have lots of curves and windy
curly ques all over in it. – Um, if I do choose
basketball, Chad said that I shouldn’t wear this to basketball. – Why not? – I don’t know. He just said
don’t. Only wear it to dance. – You can wear it. And then
just put basketball shorts on. I just really wanna see you dance. You’ve been dancing and I’ve
only seen you ever dance once. It makes me so sad you’ve been part of the dance team for so long. And I never even got to see your dance. Why don’t we ask your
coach if you’re always gonna have practices on
Tuesdays and Wednesdays. – Cause last week, well uh,
we also had a practice on Wednesday sometimes. – Okay. I’m gonna go send
a quick text to your coach. Just to clarify a few things. And you sit here and think
about what you wanna do. I think part of being a mom is managing everyone’s expectation levels. So Eve, who is the living disco ball today, and Russell are really wanting
to earn money for a pet. (background chatter) Really wanting to earn money. And they’re like, “We’re
gonna go around to neighbors and ask them if we
can do yard work for them.” And I’m like, part of me is thinking, oh my word, you guys
don’t even know how to do yard work for me. If you guys do a good
job for yard work for me, I will, I will pay you to do my yard work. It is full of leaves. – And we need to get all of the leaves. – That’s right. And you
can’t go out in your disco ball dress. – Okay. I’ll get in my work shoes. (instrumental music) Mom, do we have to do all of the backyard? I told you we had to
do all of the backyard. – All right so take two. – [Woman] Well I would
say you’re not doing a half bad job. This looks pretty good Russell and Eve. Okay. Do a good job. Moms, how do you manage your
children’s expectations? Part of me doesn’t want
to let my kids down. I don’t wanna disappoint them, and I don’t wanna make those hard choices. And, (sighs) it’s kind of part of my job to lead them, and guide
them, and give them advice on how to make these best choices. Oh, so. I’m gonna send
a text message to um, Julie’s coach. What would you guys choose? Dance? Or basketball? Julie’s coach got back to me. And it sounds like moving
forward most of the times are going to be Tuesdays and Thursdays. So that would mean you would miss Tuesday, but you’d be able to go
to the Thursday practice. And as long as he’s okay with that, I think that’ll work. – Well like, I wanna
go to basketball today. – I think you’ve been committed to dance and the recital’s coming up. I think it would be more
responsible to stick with it, and just let your
coach-cause he knew that you were already committed
when you came on the team. That you had things going. And he was willing to work around things. Whatcha working on Chad? – Merit badges. So like a couple weeks until I can’t do it anymore. I’m trying to get as much
as I can in right now. – Chad is doing his Eagle Project. He has been working really really hard. I think a lot of moms help their kids through the Eagle Project. You know starting when they’re scouts. Just little cub scouts. I am not one of those moms. I cannot claim to have helped Chad. Not for even five minutes. I don’t think I’ve ever
helped him with any of it. He’s had some really great leaders, who have been super helpful. And they’ve got him on the right track. – I’ve gotten so much
merit badges (inaudible) Such as exploration. Pretty sure I explored a lot there, so. – The amount of leaves
that we have is not near what it used to be
because these trees that are our neighbor’s are dead. So when they were living, all
of those leaves would fall into our yard, and it was
a big big job to clean up. So part of me is happy they’re dead. Part of me is super sad
because we don’t get the shade in the fall like we used to. They’re gonna have to take
those trees down eventually, cause they’re just gonna rot. Kind of makes me sad. (groans) Chad. I hate it when you pop my back. – I never popped your back before. – I think one of the
hardest parts of being a mom is learning to be comfortable
with your kids discomfort. I was so uncomfortable
watching Eve be uncomfortable. But I do not want to
say yes to a pet just to make her comfortable. And they wanna go earn
money at a neighbor’s yard. I don’t even know if they
do a good job at our house. Kids, it’s getting dark outside. You’re still working? – Yeah. – Is Eve helping you? Whoa, you got a whole bag of leaves? That’s amazing. The bigger the bag, the more money. So if you stuff the
bag really really full, you’ll make more money. – I wanna get this one. Look we have another leaf one over there. I’ll get that one. – No don’t fight. I’ll
stop, I will. Come on, we’ll sit up on the hill. Oh look, just look, your feet are bare. I have some shoes that you can wear. – Sometimes I feel like life
is just so overwhelming, I can’t do it all. Cadens been doing math
with our kids after school. He’s been tutoring them. And I asked him if he would stay an extra hour to read to the little kids. It’s okay moms, if you
have to ask for help. That’s what I’m telling myself. Like, I’m shooting from
the hip here, but I’m gonna assume that’s okay. Maybe he’ll like a little warm soup. (instrumental music) – [Woman] There you go. – [Caden] Thank you. – [Woman] You’re welcome. (instrumental music) Do you want to know why
my teeth are so white? It’s because I drink a huge glass of milk, and make myself thirsty
with Oreos, and then I guzzle this. I’ll have
like two or three huge glasses of milk a day. All I could muster today,
was making some soup with some leftover chicken,
that I pulled out of the fridge And I coooked up some
carrots and potatoes. And made a potato soup. Most nights I try to
do dinner as a family. And tonight everyone’s
just going separate ways. Julie is at dance. But
I’m gonna go get in bed. Eve and Russell, I
usually put them down but, they’re big enough that they
can put themselves down. On special occasions, and
tonight’s one of them. On a lot of the vlogs
I show me, doing a lot. And I just want to show you
guys, another side to me. Which is when I don’t get anything done. And I go to bed early, and I ask for help. And I eat a lot of Oreos. And that’s okay. Apparently, before I go to bed. I have some- some child to pay. Russell showed up in the
kitchen, just like this. And he brought my purse. These two were cleaning up the backyard. – Until night and- – And earning money. – That’s for a pet. – They wanna earn money for a pet. They have three big bags
stuffed full of leaves. There are more leaves on the ground, and tomorrow when you guys
come home from school, if you wanna earn more
money, you’ll rake the leaves in the front yard, and rake the leaves in the backyard again. It’ll blow your mind how
many leaves you’ve missed. But if you go do that
again, then you can get paid per bag okay? Got it? I think five dollars a bag is good. Is five dollars a bag good? – Sure. – That’s three bags out there. That’s $15. Are you each saving for one big pet? Or are you saving for two separate pets? – Well we want two separate pets. – Cause we want a pet
for her and one for me. – Give Eve the five dollar bill. – And you get more? – Russell did most of the work. But you were out there
helping him so you get some money too. Say thank you mom. – Thank you mom. – Okay, don’t lose it. Go put it in your purse. All right guys. Thanks
for watching. Goodnight.

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