Tiffany Haddish Partied Too Hard In Miami | Netflix Is A Joke

Tiffany Haddish Partied Too Hard In Miami | Netflix Is A Joke


– Anybody got that one friend? That one friend that can
motivate you to do shit you ain’t got no damn business doing. That friend that can make
you move into doing things you know you gonna go to jail for. You ever see that movie Pinocchio? And then when Pinocchio
was trying to go to school he was trying to be a good
boy, just a good little boy. And then his friend came up and said, “Let’s go to fun island,
let’s go be so cool. “Yeah, let’s go.” And then he’s like, “Yeah, we go!” And then they turn into fucking donkeys, they turn into jackasses? That’s what the fuck happened to me. My friend called me she like, “Tiffany, come on let’s go out.” I’m like, “Nah girl, I gotta go to bed.” She’s like, “Tiffany, have
you celebrated this year?” I was like, “What do you
mean have I celebrated?” “Did you celebrate?” “Celebrate what, bitch?
What are you talking about?” “Tiffany, you was the very first “African American female
stand-up comedian to host SNL “and you won an Emmy for that! “You won an Emmy for it! “Did you celebrate? “Did you celebrate, Tiffany?” I said, “Uh… no, I went
to my next job trying to get an Emmy for that motherfucker.” She said, “Okay, but you was
in a movie with Kevin Hart “and it made over a
hundred million dollars. “You was in a movie that made “over a hundred million dollars. “Did you go out and
celebrate that, Tiffany? I said, “No- Well… you
know what? Yes, I did.” “I celebrated by cashing
that check from that movie “that made a hundred million.
That was my celebration. “Thank you.” Check cash. She said, “But, Tiffany, “When you were sixteen,
you could not read, “you learned how to read. “And then, you wrote
a book and it came out “and it was on the New
York’s Bestseller list. “You did audiobook “and that was on the New
York Bestsellers list. “And you got nominated for a Grammy “for reading out loud bitch. “Did you celebrate? “Did you celebrate? “Keep the Grammy for reading
out, you know how inspiring “that is to people that hate reading? “Bitch, there’s people out here
who can’t see that can read, “now they finna be
reading to get Grammys.” I said, “Girl… “Nah, I’m working on my
Hooked on Finance program “so I can write a better
book that’s more eloquent.” She said, “Tiffany, “it’s gonna be a gang
of dick in the club.” I said, “Well shit, you
should’ve said that shit “in the first place! Let’s go!” I was out there partying my
ass off, dancing, drinking, drinking more than I ever
drank in my whole entire life. I was drinking everything,
anything somebody handed to me, I was drinking it. Man, I was so messed up
my kidneys failed on me. I was- I’m pretty sure I peed in a Uber. I know my Uber rating went down. Got me to the hotel. Boom,
I went to sleep, right? They wake me up in the middle of the day say, “Tiffany, you gotta do a video. “You gotta do a video
to let everybody know “where you gonna be at tonight. “Gotta let everybody know. And I said, “Oh, okay,
but I don’t feel so good. “I don’t think I should do it.” They said, “Get out in the
sun, get out in the sun! “You can do it.” If you see this video,
this video will tell you this is not gonna be a good show. This show is gonna be horrible. I didn’t know where the fuck
I was gonna be performing at. It was bad. It was just a-
it was another bad choice. Check me. This a bad idea. Just look. “What up, y’all? It’s me, Tiffany Haddish. I ain’t gonna lie to you. I’ve been out here in Miami
since yesterday’s night or early this mornting and I partied… I partied all night. – I can’t open my eyes y’all.
– I partied all… not a good night. I partied all morning. I went to bed at seven. It’s whatever time it
is right now. I’m up. I’m gonna do this show
tonight: New Year’s Eve. I’m about to party. I’m
about to party some more. Who coming to party with
me who coming to ring in the new year with me. Be at the James? I don’t know the name of the place. I forget the name of the theater. Comb the website, tiffanyhaddish.com and you can find out where it’s at. – You can tell my breath stinks. James L. Knight Center Theater James L. Theater Center Knight Ciroc is still in my system. The party’s real, though. The party, the party’s gonna be so lit. Get yo tickets, TiffanyHaddish.com. New Year’s Eve, let’s go! Yaaaaaaay! She was not ready! She not ready! Anybody with any common sense be like, “That show’s gonna be bad.” “She don’t even know
where the fuck she at.”

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