Sebastian Maniscalco Fears Gas Stations At Midnight | Netflix Is A Joke

(audience laughing) – We gotta pull over at night at a gas station. My biggest fear, getting murdered… (audience laughing) at a gas station, pumping gas. ‘Cause we all have our gas stations that we go to. It’s your primary one, you go there and that’s your one. When you go outta your neighborhood and […]

Bill Burr Learned Why Gorillas Shouldn’t Have Pet Kittens | Netflix Is A Joke

– So this lady down at the zoo, this lady down at the zoo, she taught this gorilla how to do sign language, okay? And I don’t just mean like hello and goodbye, like literally phrases, this thing could like talk about its emotions. They were actually conversing. The gorilla’s sitting there talking to her, […]

Sebastian Maniscalco Tried To Baptize His Jewish Baby | Netflix Is A Joke

– Now I was dealing with the whole, you know, we got a Jewish baby. I’ve got, my side was like, “What you gonna do? (audience laughing) “How you gonna raise the baby, what you gonna do? “No Christmas, you’re not gonna have a tree?” (audience laughing) Lot of people deal with this. “Well, you […]

Nikki Glaser Learned About Blue Balls | Netflix Is A Joke

– I think it is by far our best option to get you off, is having sex, it’s the easiest. I never understand when girls are like, “No I didn’t have sex with him. “We did everything except sex.” I’m like, “Are you exhausted? “Why would you do all the hard stuff? (audience laughing) “What’s […]

Joe Rogan Talks To Dolphins After Eating Edibles | Netflix Is A Joke

– I love pot but, the people that are making edibles need to slow the fuck down. (audience laughing) Oh my god, what’re you trying to do to people? (laughing) I had a pot gummy bear the other day. (chuckling) I think we can all agree a gummy bear shouldn’t be able to steal your […]

Jo Koy’s Hula Dance | Netflix Is A Joke

– People in Hawaii brag about shit that no one else brags about. (audience laughing) That’s real. ‘Cause you cherish the things that you have. It’s yours, I love, this is mine, brother. (audience cheering) I had a guy walk up to me, he was like, “Hey Brudda you see my, you see my brand […]

Nikki Glaser Explains Blowjobs | Netflix Is A Joke

(audience applauding) – Girls, okay, do you remember the first time you found out about blow jobs? Do you remember that day? (audience chuckles) It should be a different day than the first day you gave a blow job. (audience laughs) I hope those were vastly different days for you. Hope you had a lot […]