Joe Rogan Talks To Dolphins After Eating Edibles | Netflix Is A Joke

Joe Rogan Talks To Dolphins After Eating Edibles | Netflix Is A Joke


– I love pot but, the people
that are making edibles need to slow the fuck down. (audience laughing) Oh my god, what’re you
trying to do to people? (laughing) I had a pot gummy bear the other day. (chuckling) I think we can all agree a gummy bear shouldn’t be able to steal your soul. (laughing) Right? What the fuck are these people
making these things, man? (laughing) They’re not consistent, that’s
also part of the problem. You don’t know what you’re getting, ’cause they’re not making the same place where they make Tylenol. (laughing) Now there’s some greasy dude with a Grateful Dead tee shirt
and a gray ponytail. (laughing) He’s got a bowl of ingredients
and he can’t remember whether or not he put weed in yet. (hearty laughing) This dude’s time traveling,
just back and forth and just keeps chucking
weed in there ’til it looks like lawn trimmings. (laughing) You eat it and that’s not
what you’re looking for. (laughing) It’s not regulated, you
gotta ask questions. I ask the dude at the pot store, I go “Hey man, how strong
are the gummy bears?” He goes, (laughing) That’s not a unit of measurement! He’s like El Diablo, El Diablo. (laughing) Fuck, man. How much should I take? He goes, just the leg. (laughing) Just the leg? Why you selling whole bears? (laughing) The fuck you tryna prove man? (laughing) They just watch you leave
with that bear they go, “Oh shit.” (laughing) They know, they know you’re not gonna die. You gonna think you’re gonna
die, but everybody lives. (laughing) Learn some shit, you learn
some shit from the scary trips. (laughing) See the thing about
edibles, one of the problems with it being illegal, is that
a lot of us don’t have a lot of information that we could use. Like there’s a difference
between smoking it and eating it. When you smoke it you get
THC, but when you eat it, it’s processed by your liver, and it produces something
called, 11-hydroxy-metabolite. That’s five times more
psychoactive than THC, and it lets you talk to dolphins. (roaring laughing and clapping) This is a real moment
that changed my life. (laughing) I was in Hawaii and we were
on a boat and we were fishing, we’re pulling these lines behind the boat, and I was so high, I
was trying to figure out which way the Earth was spinning. (laughing) ‘Cause then like the
boat’s going this way, and the sun’s up there, I’m like, (long droning humming) (laughing) For like 20 minutes, I’m paralyzed. (laughing) So, while this is all
happening, these dolphins just show up, and if you’ve
ever been around wild dolphins, they’re very trippy. It’s very different than you expect. Because, they look at you. They like check you out, they
like pop out of the water and they like look at you. (laughing) Like a person, not like a
fucking deer, a woodchuck, they look at you like another person. Granted, I was so high I
thought I was gonna die. (laughing) But, I’m making eye
contact with these dolphins and I start thinking, “How
smart are these fucking things.” (laughing) Because we’re fishing, dolphins eat fish, but you never catch dolphins. (laughing) Ever. (laughing) No one has ever gone fishing and accidentally caught a dolphin. (laughing) And all I could think of
while these dolphins are like hopping through the water
and looking at us and shit. (laughing) I was thinking if people
lived in the water, you fucking catch them all day. (laughing and clapping) They wouldn’t even have
to live in the water if cheeseburgers just
floated down Geary Street. (laughing) At least once a week a guy would be like, I’m taking a chance! (roaring laughing and cheering) And you see them get
yanked up to the clouds. Fuck, we lost Billy, the
bottom of his sneakers and a puff of cloud. (laughing) You don’t caught dolphins on
fish hooks man, that’s weird. They’re around fishing all
the time and like, psht bitch! (laughing) They’re fucking smart, how smart? Well I watched a dolphin
documentary, and it said, they have a cerebral
cortex that’s 40% larger than a human being’s. I don’t know what that means,
but if you say it right, and don’t fuck up the
words, it makes you sound smarter than you really are. (laughing) (funky music)

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