Let’s begin with Jared Kushner. President Trump’s son-in-law,
White House senior advisor and guy who always looks like
he thinks you just farted. (laughter) Despite his important role
in the administration, Kushner rarely does
on-camera interviews, and this weekend,
we found out why. -Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez.
-Mm-hmm. Uh, she calls… -She has called President Trump
a racist. -Mm-hmm. Have you ever seen him say
or do anything that you would describe
as racist or bigoted? So, for the answer’s un…
uh, no, a-absolutely not. You can’t not be a racist
for 69 years, then run for president
and be a racist. Was birtherism racist? Um, look, I wasn’t really
involved in that. -I know you weren’t.
-Mm-hmm. Was it racist? Like I said,
I-I wasn’t involved in that. -I know you weren’t.
-Mm-hmm. Was it racist? Um, look,
I know who the president is, and I’ve not seen anything
in him that is racist. So again,
I was not involved in that. Did you wish
he didn’t do that? Uh, like I said,
I was not involved in that. That was a long time ago. Well, that’s an interesting way
to think of racism. You can only identify it
if you see it firsthand. “Was slavery racist?” “I don’t know, man.
I wasn’t there, okay? I just heard good things!
I wasn’t there!” I mean, if Jared’s rule is
that he can’t comment on something
he hasn’t witnessed firsthand, then there must be all sorts of
things he can never talk about, like dinosaurs or…
or the female orgasm. -(laughter)
-But… But still, it is refreshing
that Jared didn’t just lie the way Kellyanne Conway
or Sarah Huckabee Sanders would. Yeah. ‘Cause you know if one
of them got asked that question, they would have been like, “No, Trump wasn’t racist
for birtherism. Obama was racist
for being born in Kenya.” But, like, seriously,
how is Jared so bad at lying? You know, he’s around Trump
all the time. You-you would think
that he would practice. That’s like working
the night shift at Waffle House and not knowing
how to throw a punch. You’re gonna get knocked out! (laughter) Moving on… As you know,
the Democratic Party now has a record 24 people
running for president. 24! At this point,
forget the primaries. We can just solve this
with a Royal Rumble. And because most
of their policies are the same, some of the Democrats
have decided to switch things up to try and make a splash. More than a dozen
2020 candidates were in California this weekend for the state’s
Democratic Convention, and the boos rained down
on some of them when they dared to criticize ideas like
socialism and Medicare for all. Medicare for all may sound good, but it’s actually not good
policy, nor is it good politics. I’m telling you. (booing) I’m telling you. If we want to beat Donald Trump and achieve
big progressive goals, socialism is not the answer. (booing) I was reelected… I was reelected
in a purple state. You know what’s funny is,
the crowd’s not booing. They’re just saying,
“Who… are you? Who?! Who?!” But, yes,
this event did not go well for Hickenlooper and Delaney. In fact, it was a disaster. I mean, do you know
how unpopular you have to be to have “Trump” in a sentence,
but people are booing you? “Forget Trump! You!” This is one of the moments
where they’re lucky that nobody actually knows
who they were. Yeah. Seriously,
if I was John Hickenlooper and said something no one liked, I would just say
I’m another candidate. Yeah. Once the crowd starts booing,
I’d be like, “That’s right. “You heard it from me, Tim Ryan!
Good-bye, everybody! If you hate me,
vote for John Hickenlooper!” (laughter) Moving on to some breaking news
from the world of entertainment. Hip-hop legend Jay-Z is now
big pimping on another level. MAN: Well, just in, Jay-Z
is hip-hop’s first billionaire. Forbes announcing that
this morning. The magazine looked at
the rapper’s entire portfolio, including his music,
his investments and his art collection… Congratulations, Jay-Z. From hustling on the corner
to having 1,000 million dollars. Yeah, it must feel great.
The only downside is, this is his new squad. Mm… (laughter) Yeah, that’s-that’s
where you’re rolling. That’s who you’re with. And because he’s
a billionaire, forget Nas, now Jay-Z has got a beef
with Bernie Sanders. Yeah. He’s gonna be like… (like Sanders):
He’s got 99 problems, and the 99% would like
their share of those problems. It’s time to break up
Jay-Z and Beyoncé -like they’re the big banks.
-(laughter) And, like, I’m happy for Jay-Z,
but at the same time, I feel bad for him,
’cause if you’re a black person and Forbes announces
that you have a billion dollars, best believe you’re about to get
a billion long-lost cousins. Like, if I got a billion dollars
and they just announced it, people in Africa
would lose their shit. I’d be getting phone calls
every day from random Africans, just on the phone,
they would be like, (like Obama): “Hello, Trevor?
It’s me, your cousin Barry. Uh, hello?” I’d be like, “Barack?
I thought you said you were born in Hawaii.”
He’d be like, “Look, uh, “I wasn’t really
involved in that. -“That was a long time ago.
-(laughter) And I wasn’t there.” (applause) (cheering) So, uh… so yeah, this is a big day. Jay-Z is officially
a billionaire. And he’s married to Beyoncé. But is he truly happy? (laughter) Yes. Of course he is. He’s happier
than you’ll ever be.