How to Stop Being Shy (Communicate with Confidence)

How to Stop Being Shy (Communicate with Confidence)


Hey Ambitious Professionals! It’s Linda Raynier of lindaraynier.com guiding
you to a career and life you’ll truly enjoy. And in today’s video I’m gonna teach you 4
key tips on how you can reduce your level of shyness when talking to people whether
it’s your boss, your co-workers or anyone you meet in a professional setting. Now as a Career Strategist I’ve had the honor
of being able to help numerous professionals land their dream job offers. So if this is something that you’re interested
in working with me one-on-one I can give you details about that at the end of this video. When I asked corporate professionals what
it is that tends to hold them back from getting the jobs that they want or from developing
deeper relationships with others at work I tend to hear: “I’m really shy”, “I don’t know
how to talk to people well”, “I get nervous”, “I just don’t know what to say”. If this is you know that this is completely
normal. Shyness is a completely natural reaction and
you shouldn’t beat yourself up because you tend to be shy in front of others. So today I’m gonna help you to understand
where I believe your shyness really comes from and my four tips on how you can overcome
it in society a lot of us tend to think of people as people who are gentle who are sweet
who are nice kind of fragile but of course they just don’t talk a lot because they’re
shy and that may or may not be true and if you’re someone who shy you may have those
qualities as well maybe you were born into a certain culture or society where you were
raised to believe that you need to be humble you need to be conservative and you can’t
be too extroverted because that’s not a quality that is good to have in that certain culture
society and as a result of that you’ve become this person who is shy but here’s the thing
that you really should know shyness is something that can be learned and practice over time
yes you may have a tendencies to be shy but that’s because you’ve practiced it all your
life so if you wanna stop being shy you can you just simply have to even learn it from
within yourself and here’s a Fact that once you realize that this is true for you if you’re
someone who’s shy will actually help you to really learn and eliminate the shy tendencies
and here it is the reason why you are shy and why you tend to have trouble connecting
with others when you’re talking to people is because you’re current attention isn’t
on that other person that you’re talking to but instead your way to focus on yourself
you’re saying I don’t think they like me I don’t know how to talk to them I’m worried
what they think of me right now I hope I don’t say the wrong thing and with all of these
worries and thoughts you cut yourself off from being able to have a truly meaningful
conversation with this other person because you’re way too consumed with yourself and
if you were to be honest with yourself I know that you would agree with me you’re way too
lost in your own head with your own thoughts about yourself so now that you know why and
where your shyness comes from let’s talk about how you can help yourself to overcome it so
The solution to stop being shy tip number one is to adopt a curious mind set when you’re
in a situation where you’re talking to other people shift your focus away from yourself
from your own fears and nervousness away from you and towards the other person shift your
focus to the other person this may sound silly but a good way to think of it is act as though
you’re almost a news reporter and you’re trying to interview someone and you’re trying to
get information for a new segment that you’re doing as a news reporter Adopt a curious mind
set because you wanna know more about that other person that you’re talking to so by
adopting a curious mind set you were able to engage with them you’re asking them questions
you’re wanting to learn more about them and your full energy is focused on learning about
that other person so when you’re at the office and you come across a coworker just ask them
questions like whether they up to what are they’re doing you know what are they working
on what are they eating and you wanna ask from a genuine Curiosity not from a place
of I’m asking these questions because I wanna be accepted this number two is to elaborate
on your responses when someone asked you questions don’t just give them one word answers for
example if they asked you are you enjoying the work that you’re doing don’t just say
yes and leave it at that say yes I’m enjoying the work that I’m doing because of reason
number one and reason number two and maybe even reason number three and this leads me
to tip number three which is have a Another way to connect with the other person is instead
of just giving them one word answers or just giving them a couple of sentences have a story
to share have a story that you can tell them about that relates to the exact topic that
the both of you are talking about as humans we love to hear stories and when you’re able
to share a story that is meaningful to whatever it is that you’re talking about with another
person you’re able to engage them further and this is what develops your bond with the
other person in a closer way so the three components to a good story include the situation
setting up Telling them what happened in that situation what was going wrong what were the
issues how you were feeling and how they were feeling then move on to telling them about
what you did as a result of that situation what you were your action steps and then finally
what was the end results and finally with tip number four be present and listen intently
have you ever been in a situation where you are talking to someone they ask you a question
and you’re answering their question but you can tell that they’re not even really listening
to your answer there just waiting for you to finish talking so that they can jump in
and ask you another question don’t do that don’t Be waiting for them to finish answering
your previous question just to ask them another question because they’ll know that you didn’t
actually listen to what they said here’s a fact people usually can tell when you’re not
listening to them and when you’re lost in your own thoughts as much as you may think
that you’re good at disguising it is quite noticeable for most of us and here’s a quote
that I think is very fitting for this topic and it is quote by isaac Newton and he says
we build too many walls and not enough bridges so there you have it my four tips on how you
can overcome shyness and start building bridges with other people now if you’re someone who’s
been looking for a new career who’s been searching for Position and you haven’t been getting
much luck with your interviews and with your resume and you realize that you need one on
one guidance then feel free to reach out to me head on over to my website lindaraynier.com/standoutgethired
read through the page fill out the application form and if my team and I feel that we’re
a match then we will reach out to you directly if you like this video and please give it
a thumbs up subscribe share with your friends thank you so much for watching and I will
see you in the next video

100 thoughts on “How to Stop Being Shy (Communicate with Confidence)

  • Are you someone who identifies with being "shy"? 🤭Do you feel nervous when talking to others, telling yourself that you simply just "don't know what to say…?" Share your story below and tell me how you've overcame it or if you haven't yet, what tips you will be using to do so!

  • I love meeting new people and interested to hear their stories and love to share my stories too but some people still considers me that I am shy person

  • Lost my respect from all my colleagues in Vietnam at ILA !!! My silence has become anti-social !!! Could you please help me ?!?!?! Please ?!?!

    PS: I am always worried talking to people because I’m Muslim.

    Please don’t judge me ! Please !!!

  • Am a very shy person, I don't talk too much unless someone comes with something to talk about, I feel soo bad cos I can't even do a public thing! 😓

  • I have an 'open-bite' dentition and that makes me to be overtly self-conscious when i am communicating with either an individual or a group of people. It is so bad that i could forget my line of thought since i will be wondering if my audience is thinking of my teeth, facial expression or if i am spitting. It makes me not want to talk to people.

  • I am a really SHY PERSON in my classmate I don't want to dance in front of my classmate or my CRUSH 😜 hihihihi CAN YOU HELP ME!!!

  • I’m shy when i like a guy and can’t speak or be myself 😩this can give the impression im lack of confidence or dump or boring

  • The beautiful thing about a women is her shy. You took that away. What's the point of having a women in life. No wonder why men use girls and throw them with broken heart, cause they are not women no more.

  • I grew up being very shy, I am in nursing school I know what I am doing but come post conference I cant just articulate words or make any sense and its messing up my confidence level

  • I dont know how to speak English but I want to learn how can i learning good want your ideas because of i wanna be educated girl how can i get my hope

  • I get overwhelmed …and then i start stuttering and im self aware of that and get even more nervous… Its just downhill 😂😂

  • We need to be shy.. and it is actually misleading to tell people not be shy.. the filthy western culture we don't need it. .

  • Everytime Im reporting in front of my classmate I get so nervous, and it cause me so much stress, cause I feel like they gonna judge me.

  • From my favourite movie, “Grown UPS 2” I learnt that counting from 3 while trying to communicate with others, helps me not to overthink too much and just let my mouth speak freely. Also I listen to heavy metal to get me HYPED.

  • this video made me realize that I’m not shy, just don't like talking to people 😂🤦🏽‍♀️

  • I’m shy as in when I first walk in I don’t know what to say and it’s really awkward but when I’ve been there for a while I completely lose that and become an extrovert.
    Any tips for that?

  • Im agree on this topic,thank you for sharing us this tips.🙂I'm little bit shy everytime I talked to someone because I felt that i spoke them in wrong grammar 😔😔.

  • I feel shy to talk with d people sometimes to face a crowd is a problem for me what can I do to over come dis

  • Hey, I am a truly shy person, since childhood up until college, but now that I have work, I tried to be more outgoing. I have done all the steps here but another problem I have is noticing other people.

    You know that feeling when someone you know is walking but they don’t say hi or something? And I want to say hi but I feel they’re gonna ignore me. Have you ever experienced something like that? Since I have fear I might get ignored when they’re walking or passing by me, I end up not saying a simple “hi” because I am an overthinker 😭

  • I think I'm really shy 'cause I'm not attractive. I'm not confident with what I look and how people look at me. Even in relationships, I feel like my physical flaws are what they'll see and it's the reason why they leave.

  • me: watches video
    me: OK!
    goes up to people and talks to them
    them: starts judging me
    me: anddd thiss is why i amm shy :((

  • Thank you so much, this helped me ALOT. I’m only 11 but I’m shy at school, and nobody usually talk to me because since I’m kind of shy, they assume I don’t want to talk to them. I also get treated like a baby because I’m “so nice” 🙁 and I felt bad when people would be laughing and saying that they talk to much (and they act like it’s a bad thing but they really thing it’s kinda good instead of being silent) and then they would be like “ oh, except for __ , shes silent” (I don’t really want to give out my name sorry) but anyways, you helped me a lot and that doesn’t usually happen to me anymore 🙂

  • You forgot something buddy!!u should have a bonding time with that person, u shouldnt only talk to that person and hope ur friends already. You should bond with him and go with him whether thats eating,playing ir etc. Because it results to more stories talked and more strengthened relationship.

    Your welcome!!😉

  • I’m not shy I just don’t talk and people say I’m shy and I need to toughen up but I just don’t talk to people idk I’m lonely I’d like to have more friends and people to talk to but I don’t really know how to do all that so I just keep to myself even at work but I will say at work I get nervous to go everyone is friendly to each other but some people give me ugly looks maybe cause I’m new idk but that’s why I don’t talk alot

  • Usually, there's a person in the comment section summarizing the video and getting tons of likes. let's see if that works!!
    a brief summary of the video; 4 tips to stop being shy:

    1. Adopt a curious mindset (shift your attention from yourself to your partner)
    2. Elaborate on your responses to your partner (explain more; not just one word)
    3. Have a story to share (especially a hilarious one would do the trick)
    4. Be present and listen intently (Listen to what your partner is saying and stop being out of the picture)

    Hope you guys enjoy! 😀

  • Is there anyone who's managed to actually overcome this mental paralysis called shyness? Is it really possible to reboot your brain like that?

  • You said it ri8, each and every word I can relate to me. I just loose my focus when I am conversing with someone leading to a stupid reply which results badly. Consumed by this notion of what others will think of me (like ri8 now!) or my words, I just cant have a normal thought process required. Moreover, for me it kind of depends on timing, sometimes I just do great in convos., the other times I suck! …. But I really think this tips will help. Thank You so much for this video 🙂

  • It's funny but I have friends I walk with them n I feel good😒
    But when I'm walking alone I feel so nervous 🙄
    Thank you 😔

  • Thank you for this it was very helpful! I find it hard sometimes when it comes to speaking to others especially at work whenever I need to talk to my boss or coworkers because I’m always thinking what do I say or what if they don’t like me etc so I’ll keep this in mind and hope to overcome my shyness🙂

  • I always shy when i always reporting in our class because im afraid to jadge when i say something wrong. My confidence is gone because when i reciting in class when i say little mistake they are laughting to me that's why i always afraid and shy when i in front of them i think they are jadge me again (im not really good in english thats why they jadges me when i say wrong pronounciation to english word)💔

  • I am shy ☺️ ALWAYS
    but when I be alone I speak to myself and start singing 🎤 cuz ik how to sing and nobody knows hehe 🙃

  • I’m super super shy and I want to get into acting. Weird right, because most actors want to be the center of attention and are outgoing. But yeah I’m just super shy and there’s no way I’m going anywhere if I’m so shy

  • Shyness is one thing i hate in myself . No matter how prepared i am to deliver my report in front of people i still feel nervous and start shaking. Seeing yourself shaking is so embarrassing.

  • I'm bashing all the time.. My face becomes red when i talk to people.. It's so annoying n so embarrassing.. I can't control my red face! 😭

  • I'm a girl, and I can't look straight at guys. I only have a few guy friends that I'm comfortable with, other then tat, 3/4 of my frens are girls:/

  • Thank you.helpfull things. I'm so shy person Infront of unknown people. But if know me someone very well, he or she will die becoz of I'm talking too much with them & disturb them too much.

  • When some of my friends that I dont know them with a eye contact "I just say what are u looking at do u have a staring problem"🤣

  • I just had a job interview and I KNOW I messed it up. I have another coming up so this video was EXTREMELY necessary!

  • i have the same thinking when i have a conversation with others, i really want to know do they like me, how do they think of me, and i shy. But when have a presentation in front of lots of people, i even terrified. so what should i do

  • Thank you so much miss Linda for sharing this tip on how to overcome shyness. I was really hit about what you said. I am a very shy person, like I don't know how to communicate with people, I don't know how to show who I am. Because I am thinking what other people will gonna say on me or maybe I can say words that are not meant to say. But because of this I felt relieved and realized I should show to people of who I am and nothing to worries/fears about what will happen or what will gonna say them towards me. Such an inspiring. 😊

  • Overcoming shyness was never easy for me. Especially now I moved from a country where there language was not my first language. It makes me more distant to people. Yes I am confident in writing english sentences, but when it comes to speaking I suck. 😭

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