Dave Chappelle Smoked Too Much Weed In Detroit | Netflix Is A Joke

Dave Chappelle Smoked Too Much Weed In Detroit | Netflix Is A Joke


– I don’t know you ever
saw on TMZ the big headline “Dave Chappelle: Drunk
On Stage in Detroit”. (audience laughs) Well, if you saw it, I wasn’t drunk. I had smoked some reefer (audience laughs) with some rappers. (audience cheers) Yeah, I don’t know if
you know anything about hanging out with rappers, but
their weed is very strong. (audience laughs) Stronger than what I was accustomed to. (audience laughs) The article goes on to
say I was booed off stage, which is also incorrect. I was booed. I did not leave. (audience laughs) (audience cheers) It was (mumbles) It was a fucking nightmare. Two puffs of weed, that’s
all it was, two puffs! (audience laughs) I never had that happen where
I take two puffs of weed. I looked at the guy next to me. I was like, “I’m gonna
bomb, nigga, I can feel it.” (audience laughs) And that guy called my
name, “Dave Chappelle!” Niggas was like, “Hooray!” You know, normally, when
you do a comedy show, you guys don’t know what
it looks like up here, but niggas be lookin’ up at you like. (audience laughs) That’s how the show started. Didn’t take long for their
faces to switch up like, “What the fuck?” They started looking amongst themselves. So, I knew I wasn’t doing good. I don’t remember what I was saying. (audience laughs) It just took one person to break that ice. It was a black lady with
a Ford Motor shirt on. (audience laughs) Stood up suddenly, “Fuck you, Dave Chappelle!” I said, “Excuse me?” (audience laughs) She said, “I worked
all week for this shit, “and this show sucks!” And in a weird act of racial harmony, a conservative white guy
stood up and backed her up. “Yeah!”
(audience laughs) The whole crowd banned
together and started chanting. “We want our money back! “We want our money back!” I said, “Oh shit!” I snapped out of it. (pants) Good people of Detroit, (audience laughs) hear me, hear me now. (audience laughs) You will never get your
fucking money back. (audience laughs) (audience cheers)
Fuck that. I said, “I’m like Evel Knievel. “I get paid for the attempt.” (audience laughs) I didn’t promise this shit would be good. (audience laughs) “Boo,” they said, “fuck you!” This went on for a long time, and then, after the show, I felt so bad I took half of the money from the show, thousands of the dollars. I said I’m gonna give this to charity. You know what I did? I bought $25,000 worth of bubble gum and drove around Detroit and handed it out to the homeless so they could
chew it and still be hungry. (audience laughs) I was very mad at Detroit that night because not only did I bomb, nigga, I had to go back to the
very same room the next night and do it all over again. Fucking nightmare. That would be like if you
were having sex with a woman, and for some reason,
this would never happen, but for some reason, she had
a mousetrap in her pussy. (audience laughs) You get caught in the trap, and then, you gotta fuck
her again tomorrow night. (audience laughs) I’d still do it, but you know,
I’d be careful the next time. (audience laughs) The old mouse trap in the pussy trick, eh? Fool me once. (audience laughs) (Dave laughs) Yeah, yeah, it was a tough time, and I wanted to give up sometimes. I almost did give up, but then, I, right before I gave up, I decided not to. But I made the call. I made the call. Man answered the phone, “Hello,
‘Dancing with the Stars’.” I said, not yet. (audience laughs) Not yet. (audience cheers) Yeah. Ah, if you see me on that
shit, it’s over, trust me. (audience laughs)
My spirit is broken. If you see me waitin’ for them judges. (audience laughs) Getting critiqued on
my cha-cha, fuck that. (smooth music)

100 thoughts on “Dave Chappelle Smoked Too Much Weed In Detroit | Netflix Is A Joke

Leave a Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *